Revival

It's been three years since I made this blog, and since then I never actually add anything to it, leaving it as empty as a barren wasteland

During these last three years, I have gradually reduced the activity of writing something, be it a story or Facebook post. Speaking of Facebook, I feel like the place has become too toxic for the current me. Sure, in the early 2010s it helped to provide a gateway for me to get acquintanced with new people who have similiar interest in literary and Japanese media. But later as my own life go downhill, I can no longer feel that I'm standing in the same place like everyone. And so, I begin to frequently deactivate my account in an attempt to distance myself with the others.

But still, it's not enough.

Twitter become the second place I feel like I can post anything there. But since some people already followed my account, I create another alt account just so I can follow anything I want without other people knowing it. Twitter also become the perfect outlet everytime I want to rant about something, despite the limitation of number of words per tweet so I opted to write short but long-chained series of tweets everytime I feel down.

But still, it's not enough.

I always make a comparison that Facebook is like a city street where you bump into everyone who come across everyday and see the group of buildings that contain different communities, while Twitter is more like an isolated room where you get a view of everyone from binocular, and sometime it also feels like a confessional box. Google+, while pretty much deserted, is still a platform where anyone with Google account can easily see me. So all things considered, all that's left for me is to revive this half-dead blog and start writing something again.

This time, it's all for myself.

If I can't be honest with everyone in real life, at least I want to write down what I really feel and think with everything that happened in my life. In short, I want to write down my own story. A collection of thoughts that people around me may never hear, but actually embody me as a person. Even if I have no choice but to become an empty husk, a zombie without any will, at the very least, I want to become true to myself in any way I could.

I hope so.